Acquisitions Incorporated: Season One

Season One
Jim Darkmagic, Omin Dran, Binwin Bronzebottom (left to right)
Season Information
System / Edition	Dungeons and Dragons 4th Edition
Dungeon Master	Chris Perkins / James Wyatt
Player Characters	Omin Dran, Binwin Bronzebottom, Jim Darkmagic
Episode Format(s)	Podcast (Audio Only)
Episode Count	8
Season Runtime	340 Minutes
Next Season	Acquisitions Incorporated: Season Two

Season One of Acquisitions Incorporated (the primary podcast) was released as a weekly series available on the Wizards of the Coast website starting in May of 2008. Chris Perkins presents as the DM for the first four episodes with James Wyatt completing the final four episodes of the season, both gentlemen were game designers at the time for Wizards of the Coast (the company that published 4th Edition D&D. Some information in this season has been ret-conned by Jerry Holkins in the creation of the "C-Team" podcast. Any information that is no longer considered canon will be marked as such.

Episode Synopses

The first season of Acquisitions Incorporated begins with only the player characters of Binwin Bronzebottom, Omin Dran, and Jim Darkmagic. The season follows the 4th Edition adventure "Keep on the Shadowfell" with minor changes.

Episode 1

The episode begins with the players choosing their roles and explaining their characters. Mike Krahulik chooses the Wizard class and introduces Jim Darkmagic III, whom he almost renames to Jim Fellmagic, a magician from the "New Hampshire Darkmagics" (Chris Perkins later renamed the Newhamp Shire Darkmagics for fantasy consistency). Jerry Holkins presents Omin Dran (claiming that Dran was "short for something" that he hadn't decided upon at the time) a Half-Elf Cleric who worships Avandra, goddess of trade travel and fortunes. Scott Kurtz of PVP introduces Binwin Bronzebottom (he specifies that he required a butt be involved in his character's naming). Chris Perkins explains many of the rules of Dungeons and Dragons to Mike Krahulik, who had never before played, between setting the scene of the adventuring party's first adventure occurring in the town of Winterhaven. The town has been dealing with significant issues with Goblins and Kobolds with which the party has encountered before the podcast begins. On behalf of the mayor of Winterhaven they look to gain insight to the leader of the Goblins, a particularly brutish one which is revealed to be called 'Irontooth'. The party discovers a ruined keep atop a hill that no persons in Winterhaven told the party about. They discover a shack with stairs leading down into the keep. The stairs are littered with bones that make soft crunching noises as the party steps atop them. While inspecting the keep Binwin almost immediately falls into a pit with a Swarm of Rats. Omin enters the room and throws a length of rope down into the trap for Binwin.

Episode 2

Omin, struck by a crossbow bolt, helps free Binwin from the rat trap

The party continues their battle against a Swarm of Rats while being ambushed by hidden goblins. This is the first episode where Omin is declared to be the CEO of Acquisitions Incorporated.The first natural one critical failure is rolled by Binwin Bronzebottom in this encounter. The party spends a great deal of time attempting to defeat a pair of goblins (also described perhaps erroneously as kobolds). One goblin escapes the party further into the keep while the other is decapitated by Binwin shortly after he rejoins his party ascending a rope. At the end of the episode Binwin spends Healing Surges to regain his HP.

Episode 3

The Party follows a trail of blood, left behind by the surviving goblin from the previous episode, down a flight of stairs. At the bottom they accidentally attract attention from zombies that attack them.Jim casts some new spells and eliminates several Zombie Rotters (in 4th Edition many low level creatures are referred to as "minions" and only have 1 hp). After initially moving on, a Zombie reanimates bringing the party back into combat.

Omin smites the re-reanimated corpse and the party recuperates briefly before continuing down a corridor following the Goblin blood trail. Ahead down the corridor is an intersection that reveals a path that has a glyph inscribed upon the floor, the alternate path bears the blood trail of the Goblin. Binwin jumps ahead of the party quite literally leaping over the glyph which none in the party manage to identify. Omin identifies the Goblin's blood trail and traces it to a blank wall which he deduces must have a mechanism to open a secret door. Binwin discovers the mechanism with which to open the secret wall-door and leads the way into the next section of the keep.

Episode 4

Upon entering what is reveled to be a small empty crypt, the party is attacked as two crossbow bolts pass through the back wall of this chamber. The wall is revealed to be a magical illusion hiding several Goblins who are now shooting more crossbow bolts at the party. Binwin rushes through the illusory wall dispelling it and revealing the back half of this crypt to be a decrepit armory with a ragged suit of armor and a pair of weapon racks. One Goblin is clearly wearing a metal jaw device that has spiky iron teeth on it. A lengthy back and forth battle ensues, Irontooth gets splashed with acid before assigning one of his Goblin underlings to help flank the party. Omin is quickly surrounded and wounded as Binwin rushes to attempt to kill Irontooth and scatter the rest of the Goblins. Binwin activates his daily power (deprecated in 5th edition) and bloodies Irontooth while taking multiple attacks. Jim casts Burning Hands damaging two Goblins as well as Omin, who is then slain by an additional Goblin attack.

Binwin dispatching Irontooth

Binwin moves to stabilize Omin while Jim is attacked by the Goblin previously striking at Binwin. The battle concludes with Binwin killing Irontooth, the last surviving Goblin (the same Goblin who struck Omin with a crossbow bolt in episode 2) falls to his knees pleading for mercy. The Goblin, who calls himself Splug, becomes a new hire who promises to lead the party to the location of the dark cultists hiding deeper in the tower. The episode ends with Omin, Jim, and Binwin discussing Splug's loyalty and a potential quick trip to Winterhaven to prepare for a deeper delve into the keep.

Episode 5

This image references a similar encounter in Episode 5

This episode picks up long after episode 4 after the entire party has leveled up to level 3. Splug the Goblin has been leading the party further and further into the Keep on the Shadowfell. The party descends into a small crypt that is infested with Zombies and Ghouls. Binwin, Jim and Omin lay waste initially but start to take serious wounds. A Homunculus appears and attacks the party as well and after being surrounded Omin is downed. Binwin takes a turn to stabilize Omin while Jim finishes off the remaining Ghoul. The party takes a short rest before investigating the next room.

Episode 6

The party delves deeper, seeking to root out the Orcus death cult that they've been made aware of. Jim's unusual penchant for casting light onto a coin attracts the attention of a female Berserker of Orcus. Splug does his best to stay at the edge of the fray as several Underpriests. Several rounds of combat pass with damage distributed to the entire party. Binwin goes down to a critical strike from the Berserker while Jim dishes out some more damage. The episode ends without a single foe going down.

Episode 7

Continuing in the combat from the previous episode, Omin spends most of the combat failing to strike anything. The Berserker and Underpriests of Orcus deal too much damage and are too hard to hit for the party to survive. Attempting to fend off inevitable defeat, the characters literally cast everything they have left. Omin is taken down by the Berserker just before Binwin manages to kill her. Jim is hit by a spell and goes down, followed very shortly by Binwin.

The party awakens before the yawning portal and Kalarel's ritual.

The party expects a TPK but instead they have been dragged to the bottom of the Keep of the Shadowfell before Kalarel himself. An elaborate ritual has been going on in this chamber for several days. One wall features a large yawning portal with some eldritch beast beyond it struggling to enter the room. Having awakened without the cultists noticing, Jim realizes this ritual is intended to open a portal to the Shadowfell (a realm of undead and eldritch horrors). Omin is first to draw blood, striking a nearby Skeleton with a Lance of Faith. After a short back and forth between the party and the cultists, Binwin gets downed. In the melee, Jim considers escape while Kalarel declares his clear superiority in the service of Orcus. A javelin, thrown by Splug, strikes a Skeleton threatening the party. Binwin receives healing as the fight continues.

Episode 8

Jim's Magic Missile immediately critically misses at the start of the episode, followed by a critical miss from the Dungeon Master. Kalarel teleports further away from the party but Binwin still strikes. Scott Kurtz, not in character, begins to question the erratic actions of Kalarel. James allows Scott to read aloud the section of the Keep on the Shadowfell adventure that explicitly describes the actions Kalarel has just taken. Jim fires another magic missile this time landing a critical hit as Kalarel is bloodied. Binwin takes down a Deathlock as Omin heals himself. Jim continues casting and successfully strikes Kalarel while Binwin takes more necrotic damage and is immobilized. Splug is downed by a Skeleton. Binwin takes more damage from Kalarel which downs him.

Omin casts Beacon of Hope to get Binwin back up immediately. In a back and forth fight, Binwin bloodies Kalarel who then rallies and manages to down Binwin. Omin finishes off the Skeleton as Jim is critically weakened by Kalarel, which would half his potential damage. Omin confers a free Saving Throw to Jim who rolls a natural 20 to remove the weakened effect on him and just barely manages to finish Kalarel. Omin rushes to Binwin to spare him from dying ignoring Splug. The Keep begins to crumble and the ritual has failed as the party successfully escapes.

Season Details

Locations

• Winterhaven
• Keep on the Shadowfell

Character Encounters

• Splug
• Irontooth
• Kalarel

Player Statistics

Character	Critical Hits	Critical Misses	Damage Dealt	Damage Taken	Last Hits*	Downs**
Omin Dran	1	2	151	192	7	3
Binwin Bronzebottom	1	1	240	205	7	5
Jim Darkmagic	6	3	326	58	14	1
DM: Chris Perkins	0	2	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A
DM: James Wyatt	7	1	N/A	N/A	N/A	N/A

_{*Last Hits are any instance where the attack or effect from one PC has Downed or Killed an NPC. Not which PC was most responsible for those kills.}

_{**Downs are considered any instance where a PC is taken down to 0 hp or lower. This is not Player Character death which is exceedingly rare.}

References 

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 1, May 30 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep1

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 2, June 6th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep2

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 3, June 13th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep3

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 4, June 20th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep4

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 5, June 27th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep5

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 6, July 4th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep6

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 7, July 15th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep7

Acquisitions Incorporated Season 1 Episode 8, July 18th 2008, http://www.acq-inc.com/portfolio/details/penny-arcade-pvp-s1-ep8